Point of View

Recently, I’ve been working on a lot of personal growth. Many things have contributed to this change in my life. New friends, new boyfriend, new goals, new blessings, new church, new challenges, new books, and a new point of view on a few things. This all got me thinking about our fear of the new or different. Why do we fear change? Is it the uncertainty that things won’t be the same? Do we have some great illusion of control in our lives that makes us think that we are in fact able to stop change or that we, at this very moment, are different than we were yesterday, last month, six months ago, or last year? Every second your body is regenerating itself and in fact growing older and changing. It’s a small change. So we don’t notice it right off the bat. But as the years progress we start to see the difference in our manner, physical features, relationships, reactions, and much more.

It’s not until we stop and notice the growth we’ve developed that we think ‘Wow, look how far I’ve come.’ I’ve started to see this change in myself and realize that I have come really far since I started this blog. Before all I could do was think to myself when is it gonna get better?! Why is everything so fucked up and why am I a piece of shit!? But I never was, never have been. It was my point of view. And perhaps the point of view of some people around me. And very well, might still be the point of view of some of them. But luckily, I am back in a place where I really don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks of me. That’s who I was before I moved here. That’s who I was before I tried to be something I wasn’t. It feels so good to feel this way again. And It’s all due to the fact that I can love myself again. I can look in the mirror and be proud. I am doing the best I can with what I have and will only get better as time progresses. I’ve had some new deep connections with people who are definitely vibrating on the same frequency as I am. These people have empowered me and taught me so much about myself in such a short period of time that I can only see the inner workings of how everything has come together to form a well scripted plotline for my personal growth.

These people I am growing with are amazing. They restore my faith in humanity. I have always had this unconditional love in my heart for the whole of humanity. Even while the random, irritating individual does throw me off occasionally, I’ve learned a few things from someone I respect and admire immensely regarding how to handle such slight annoyances. He told me,
“Sure there are always going to be people who piss you off, but you have to decide whether it’s worth it to waste your energy on them.”
Now, that isn’t to say that no one is worth my energy. But it shed a whole new light on how I handle things on a daily basis. I feel connected to people, all people. So I have strong reactions to their stupidity, selfishness, need for drama, passive aggressiveness, ignorance, and indifference. But then I learned something about the world through a book called the four agreements. The agreement that hit me hardest, was don’t take anything personally. What a concept. What other people do, isn’t about me, it’s about them. So when some guy is throwing a temper tantrum here in the airport, and belittling me because he didn’t have the sense to read his contract, it’s his issue, not mine. I don’t have to let another human being waste my energy and piss me off all because they are upset. That’s transference of energy folks. And people do it all the time. It’s a control battle for energy all over the planet in different forms. I happen to be deeply in touch with the source and all of its endless energy so I thought, why not just share that light and energy with everyone and then there is no need for the battle of energies to occur?
Besides, I can’t help anyone if I’m pissed at them. So I’ve started to try to understand people, since I happen to be extremely keen on reading them, instead of brushing off they’re existence or getting frustrated with them. And when you seek to understand someone rather than control them, you become much more tolerant as a person, of the afore-mentioned, minor frustrations. Everyone vibrates on their own frequency which ties us together as a whole. Kind of like a flash mob symphony. One person’s music is beautiful on its own. And that person does the best they can with what they have been given and plays their instrument according to their level of experience. And when more instruments start joining in, the symphony gets stronger, more harmonic, more beautiful. And it’s all working toward the perfection of the entire orchestra and the symphony. But it’s not all about perfection. Sometimes the most beautiful changes or imperfections in the music make the whole more beautiful. And the source is the great conductor of this symphony and listens to every individual frequency or sound and gives the player the music or lessons it needs to help its progression. So how can I get upset at what is not mine to fix. It is my job to notice the imperfection and love it regardless. To help it progress in my own way if I can because my experience level is better tuned. And those more experienced players than I, help me to progress and grow.
Hans, the person I mentioned earlier, is much more experienced than I am. His frequency is much higher than mine, but I knew that from the start and the things he says and reading his book have also helped me up my frequency considerably. So have my other new friends. Each in their own way helps me play my instrument that much better simply by playing theirs nearer to mine and vice versa.
So my point of view on lots of things has begun to change. I don’t see the random butthead as throwing off my sound because they are too lazy to tune theirs, I see it as my duty to play louder and nudge them gently in the direction to help their growth. And if they don’t want my guidance I simply play louder and more beautifully. So as hopefully to inspire others to do better with what they have and more finely tune their frequency.
When I see someone playing beautifully and with great skill it inspires me to do better. “Be the change you wish to see in the world,” Mama always says. So instead of thinking I should do something to make a person want to progress, I just set the example now, or at least the best example I can with what I have at my disposal at the moment. There is no need to control the instruments around me in order to have perfection. It’s perfect the way it is and the source hears the whole thing. Sometimes if I still my mind enough, I can too. And I have a much deeper appreciation for the whole and the imperfections that make it up. I no longer judge those who make mistakes and treat me badly because that’s their issue, not mine. It’s their drama, not mine. And some people when they see you playing to your own tune and smiling, feel compelled to cause you to trip up. They want you to keep playing at their level or be involved in their drama. Pay them no mind and continue to sparkle and shine. Don’t apologize for being on a different frequency and refusing to lower it to their level. It’s not about you it’s about them. Some people help us grow by example and others by trying to play everyone else’s instruments the way they want it. Let it go it’s on them, not you. I even have a deep found compassion for the current antagonist in my personal life. Because I can read her. She’s insecure and found a frequency she thinks she can control. Unfortunately that isn’t the case. But it isn’t my place to step in and lower myself to their level. My place is to simply, play mine and watch them play to their own tune until one of them progresses past it. It’s not my lesson. And I am grateful he finally has the chance to learn. Even if it is a hard lesson and a hard thing to watch.
I hope that my point of view opens yours up, but if not that’s fine too. We all listen to the music when we are individually ready so don’t be upset with those who seem deaf or unable to hear it. They will. In time. We all do. Just keep on playing your instrument to the best of your ability and let yourself shine in all the glory you were created in. There’s a piece of the conductor in each of us and it’s all about growing and progressing our frequency to get back on point with his. He doesn’t care about perfection, he cares about progression!

I would also like to take this opportunity to ask you to read my friend, Hans Christian Hollenbeck’s book Highpoint. It is an amazing book with a Da Vinci code type plotline, but far above Dan Brown in my opinion and far more enlightened. This book will keep you on your toes guessing and perhaps enlighten you a little more on the subject I just spoke of. It was written by an incredible person with an even more incredible mind and I couldn’t do it justice, in just reviewing it. Please read it! You can order Highpoint and other short stories with a twilight zone feel at http://www.hanshollenbeck.com Please support a brilliant mind who supports me and helps me grow! We need more readers and writers in this world! Originality is so rare that it is becoming extinct. We need more original thought and less sequels in this world! Thank you for supporting my mind and my growth and I thank you in advance for supporting his!